I am Master Jason T. McConnell, a certified Black Belt Master Instructor under the American Song Moo Kwan Association and World Song Moo Kwan Association. I'm also certified under my instructor as a Black Belt in Hapkido. This probably means very little to the average person, so let me elaborate: For almost 20 years now I have trained in two martial art disciplines that compliment each other: Taekwondo and Hapkido. Taekwondo is comprised mostly of kicking but also utilizes blocking, stances, and striking techniques. Hapkido is more fluid and uses joint manipulations and judo throws as a big part of its arsenal. I have mastered the arts to a point of integration where hard style of Taekwondo and softer style of Hapkido can be used together to be more effectively.
I've spent the better part of my training learning realistic self-defense tactics, and I have participated in several women's self-defense classes. My approach follows a real-world philosophy that, on average, men are bigger and stronger than their female counterparts. Therefore, overpowering your opponent will most likely only happen with surprise and guile. I teach my students to exist beyond brute force, and I firmly believe that the most effective weapon we own is our own mind.
Part of my curriculum is teaching "Preventative Maintenance" or prevention techniques. My instructor use to tell us "The best fight I ever had, was the one I never had", and this is the absolute truth! Fortunately, the experience of a physical conflict can be avoided, and this article will provide you with some simple ideas to prevent yourself from being put in harms way.
Start With Yourself
I can't stress enough how important it is to exhibit confidence. Most predators are cowardly men who need that power trip, and simply walking with confidence will exclude you as a possible victim. If you look like a victim, you could become one; however, if you look confident you are telling the possible assailant that you will not go quietly.
How do you walk with confidence? Simple, fake it till you make it! Stand tall, shoulders back, head held high, and think like a strong woman. You are an important person and you deserve to be safe and secure in every moment of your life. You deserve to be loved and treated with respect just like others. Hold these thoughts when you're walking into a questionable environment.
Avoid Questionable Environments
I think the most brilliant (yet simple) concept ever told to me by a Grand Master was "The best way to get out of a hold, is never to get in it to begin with". The best way to get out of a scary or questionable situation is to never get in it to begin with (it works in other areas too).
Sometimes, however, we don't even know we're getting into a situation where we could get hurt. Who really thinks they're going to get kidnapped, rapped, or worse in the parking lot of a grocery store. How many women go out for a late night jog expecting to be harassed or assaulted? These are situations we would gladly avoid if only we knew they were a possibility... well, they are!
I use to believe, like so many, that intuition was some sort of metaphysical intervention by a higher power. I now understand that intuition is very simply your subconscious mind observing something that your conscious mind has neglected to see. Whatever you believe, LISTEN to your intuition and listen carefully; that voice will be your best friend in preventing a bad situation. Aside from that, here are a few suggestions to help keep you safe:
Avoid dark and unknown areas such as an ally way, a strange neighborhood, etc.
Be aware of other people or vehicles around your own when you're out in a public parking lot.
Request an escort to your vehicle if you feel uneasy.
Avoid going for a walk or jog with headphones on. I know it's disappointing not to have your music, but if you are listening to music then you are not aware of your surroundings. If you want music, use a treadmill in the safety of your own home or as an alternative, take one earphone out.
Drive yourself when you meet with friends, a neighbor, or even a date.
If in an accident, call the police FIRST before you do anything else, and keep them on the phone as long as possible.
Dating Tips
If you are going on a date, please take the time to set up a date buddy. This should be a close friend or relative who can help monitor your progress, someone who will call you at regular intervals just to make sure you are safe (and possibly having a good time). Your date buddy should call once very 30 minutes to an hour, and you need to have an agreement that should you not answer or call back in 5 to 10 minutes... he/she will call the police and report your last known position.
Make sure you drive yourself, any reasonable man will accept your caution and be willing to meet you somewhere, and I don't suggest letting him ride with you. Never have your date pick you up or meet you at your home; instead, meet at a neutral place or where the date is going to occur.
When selecting a location for the first date, be sure to choose a well lit and popular location. First dates are meant to be casual, fun, and intended to just get to know someone. This doesn't require a candle lit dinner in a private area; save those romantic ideals for later dates after the trust and relationship is established.
Conclusion
Please understand I am not trying to portray women as victims or weak, nor do I suggest every woman should live in fear of being raped, murdered, or otherwise harmed. What I am suggesting is that you live in awareness and with caution, and I wouldn't recommend anything that will cut into your quality of life. I am merely suggesting that you take some precautions, just as if you were fastening your seat belt to go for a drive in your car. You don't intend to get in an accident, but should one occur, you have the proper safety restraints in place. Protect yourself! You are a precious and wonderful person, and you deserve to be safe.
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